


Gravitational Constants

by corybanticGloom



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Related, Fix-It, M/M, Mental Illness, Slow Burn, Trauma, Violence, break away from canon in the later seasons, coran gets serious screen time and character dev, exploration of keith's past feelings for shiro, in like a canon way, lance has a personality the whole time, redemption might be too strong of a word, tags to be added as I write, the rating may change to explicit if i decide to write sex scenes along the way, vague lotor redemption
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 10:43:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18409016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corybanticGloom/pseuds/corybanticGloom
Summary: Lance spoke to the Blue Lion and she roared to life. Keith didn’t think he’d ever seen something more beautiful, and he knew the Lion wasn’t solely responsible for the way his heart was racing inside his ribcage.Lance knew he wanted to hit Keith in the face, a little bit. He had since the Garrison. He also wanted, desperately, for Keith to acknowledge him as an equal pilot. He was glad Keith had been the one next to him when he had woken Blue up.I think it’s safe to say that season 8 did everyone dirty. Let’s clean this bad boy up. Fic starts in season one, most of the content occurs in the later seasons/post canon (unless I change my mind). We’ve got a lot of slice of life in between episodes, we’ve got some intimacy, we’ve got some Coran being allowed to have real feelings. This will be as canon-adjacent as I can manage in a fix-it. A lot of the content is happening in between episodes and will allude to episode happenings.





	Gravitational Constants

“Keith, you’ve still got goo all over you!” Lance was leaving the showers in a fluffy blue robe, towelling off his hair. His good mood from the food fight earlier in the evening didn’t seem to have worn off yet- he was smiling at Keith. 

“Haven’t showered yet. Hit the training room first,” Keith responded. 

“You what? Keith, we trained all day. Take a break some time, will ya?” Lance said.

“Some of us want to get better.” Keith said. Lance’s robe had slipped off his shoulder, he noticed. He kept his gaze firmly planted on Lance’s face. 

“Man, I’m trying to be nice to you! So much for team building.” 

Keith could still hear Lance muttering to himself as he left the hall and walked into the showers. Lance was right- he was being an asshole. Dinner tonight had been a great time. He could have accepted his fellow paladin’s kindness, continued the comraderie they’d developed sitting side by side, handcuffed to one another, slinging green goop at Allura and Coran. 

The hot water was a relief running through his sticky hair, washing down his shoulders. They were sore from training today. From the past few days of fighting. From a year of living in the desert, sleeping on a dusty old mattress that was more broken springs than functioning ones. The other paladins might have been missing Earth, their homes, the Garrison. This was the most luxury Keith had enjoyed in a long time. Living with these people he couldn’t have picked out of a line up two weeks ago was the most intimacy he’d had in a long time. 

Tonight, sitting next to Lance, the backs of their goo-dripping hands touching, was the most intimacy he’d had in a long time. 

Keith heard the door slide open, that high-tech “whoosh” noise he was still trying to get used to. He poked his head out of the shower expecting to see Lance, halfway through an argument in his own head about whether or not to be apologetic. Instead, he saw Shiro, also caked in green goo. 

“What kept you from showering after dinner? I didn’t see you in the training room,” Keith said. His stomach knotted even further. 

“I was talking with Allura. We’ve got to find a way off this planet, before Sendak comes after us,” Shiro said, “Is it alright if I join you?” 

Keith’s face pulled into a grimace at the question. Years ago, Shiro wouldn’t have had to ask. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

They didn’t face each other as they scraped now-dried food off their skin. They small talked about Sendak, about their utter lack of a plan, about their indefensible position against the Galra as things currently stood. It was more unbearable than not talking at all. Keith finished up and towelled off as quickly as he could. 

“See you in the morning. I imagine Coran is waking us up early with another drill?” Keith said, wryly. 

“And he expects you in uniform, this time,” Shiro’s smile came through in his voice, even though Keith wasn’t facing him. 

“Right. Goodnight.” 

“Keith, wait.” 

Keith turned around, Shiro’s smile gone. Shiro wrapped a towel around himself and took a step forward. 

“Can we talk, Keith?” Shiro asked. 

“I’ll meet you in your room in a few minutes?” Keith offered. He didn’t want to do this here, in this alien locker room. 

“Sure. See you in a bit.” 

Keith had been dreading this conversation. He knew it was stupid. He had spent the past year of his life searching for Shiro. He attacked the Garrison to protect him, ended up galaxies away from Earth to follow him on his mission to protect the universe. He would die for Shiro, no questions asked. He felt much less willing to have an open and honest conversation with the man. 

But Keith wasn’t a coward, and he owed Shiro this talk. So, after pulling on the closest thing to sweatpants he could find in the castle (they were fussier than he liked, made of something more similar to silk than cotton), he propped himself against Shiro’s door frame and waited for his old friend to invite him inside. 

Shiro’s room was neat. Freakishly neat. Keith knew they’d only been at the castle a few days, with not so many belongings, but even the bedding didn’t betray that Shiro had been sleeping there. This is how his home had been at the Garrison, too. Keith had always wondered if it had been he or Adam so obsessed with order. Now he knew. 

“Keith.” 

“Shiro.” 

“You can sit down, you know.” 

Keith moved from his position in the dead center of the room and joined Shiro on the bed. He sat with his feet planted on the floor, elbows on his knees. 

“I wanted to thank you for rescuing me, Keith,” Shiro said. 

“You already have. Look- I know we haven’t had time to talk about, about anything since you crash landed on Earth. I know you have to have questions. You were gone for a year,” Keith said. 

“You got kicked out of the Garrison,” Shiro said. 

“That’s what you care about? We’re the paladins of Voltron. Aren’t we a little past my grades?” Keith grumbled. 

Shiro laughed. A real, genuine, bark of a laugh. It caught Keith off guard enough to have to look up at Shiro for the first time since entering the room. Seeing him like that, smiling and clutching his side, got to Keith. He found himself laughing too, until they were both giggling like they hadn’t done in years. Not since Keith was a kid sitting cross-legged on Shiro’s couch watching Saturday morning cartoons. 

“I missed you,” Shiro said. 

“I missed you, too,” Keith responded. He took a breath before continuing, “You want to know about Adam.” 

“I- yeah. I do, Keith. I’m sorry.” 

“I stopped talking to him once you left,” Keith said. 

“What? Keith, why? I know he was… upset with me. But he said he would always be there for you. He didn’t reach out?” Anger swelled at the edges of Shiro’s words. 

“It wasn’t him. It was me.”

“Oh.” 

“The last time he tried to talk to me was after they pronounced you dead. I had all this evidence, and he had the clearance- but he wouldn’t listen! He told me you were gone. To move on,” Keith felt his fists clench involuntarily. 

Shiro took a sharp breath in. It couldn’t be easy for him, hearing that the love of his life had given up on him. Not when a seventeen year old drop out had kept looking. Had found him. Keith looked down at the floor again to give Shiro some privacy. Instead of the silence or anger he had anticipated, Keith felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder. 

“He was right, you know,” Shiro smiled. 

“What?!”

“You should have moved on. Stayed in school.”

“Shiro- you were alive. You were in danger. You needed me. You needed us.” 

“You know, a lot of people told me it was a waste of my time to risk my career on a kid who lacked so much discipline. But I always had a feeling your defiance would come in handy,” Shiro was still smiling, a proud glow in his eyes. 

“He should have looked for you, too, Shiro. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t blame him. He told me he wouldn’t.” 

“He still should have. That’s what you do when you love someone,” Keith said. Shiro drew his hand away. Keith turned his head, knowing he’d betrayed too much about old feelings. 

“Keith…” 

“We don’t have to talk about this again, Shiro. I know. It’s just been hard, being the only one looking for you.”

“You aren’t alone anymore, Keith. Voltron is our team, now. We’re all here for each other,” Shiro said. 

Keith sighed, rubbing his temples, and spoke, “The Lions are the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. After we formed Voltron- I feel so connected to the other paladins.”

“I know what you mean. Under normal circumstances, this might not have been the crew I would have chosen to run a mission like this-”

“You mean Lance?” Keith interrupted, grinning.

“-but after that bond, I think I trust the four of you more than I’ve trusted a team before in my life. Even Lance.” 

“Yeah. Even Lance,” Keith agreed. 

“We’d better get some shut eye before the castle wakes us up,” Shiro suggested. 

“Yeah. Night, Shiro.”

Keith had expected the hallway to be empty. It was late on this planet. Even if their bodies hadn’t completely adjusted to the time difference between here and Earth, an intergalactic space battle will have you ready for bed like nothing else in the universe. 

Instead of an empty hall, Keith found Lance. It looked like he was walking back from Hunk’s room. He also looked exhausted, bags under his eyes, mouth stretched into a yawn. He froze when he saw Keith. 

“What are you doing here?” He accused. 

“Our rooms are next to each other. I’m going to bed,” Keith said. 

“You were in Shiro’s room?” 

“Yeah?”

“What, you two are coming up with plans without us now?”

“No?” 

“So what were you doing in Shiro’s room alone?”

“Is this an interrogation? Aren’t you coming from Hunk’s room? Where the two of you were alone? Shiro and I are friends. We have been for years,” Keith said. 

Lance looked him up and down before responding, “We always wondered about that at the Garrison. How do you two know each other?”

“It’s a long story,” Keith said. 

“A story you aren’t going to tell me. Got it,” Lance’s face fell. 

“I don’t want to do this right now, Lance,” Keith said. 

“You do look pretty tired,” Lance was smirking, poking fun at Keith again, but he let his face grow more serious as he asked, “Are things okay with you and Shiro?” 

“Yeah. I was just catching him up on Earth,” Keith said. 

“He must miss it,” Lance said. 

“More than I do.” 

“I already miss the sun. The beaches. My mom’s cooking. My sister. God, my sister. She must be so mad at me,” Lance said. 

“Really? I’d imagine she’d appreciate the break from you,” Keith said. He softened his tone, hoping Lance would take it as a lighthearted joke. 

“You don’t miss it at all?” Lance asked instead. 

“No. Everything I care about is here.” 

Lance frowned. 

“We should head to bed. Shiro told me Coran is planning to wake us up with another drill tomorrow,” Keith continued. 

“Aw man, thanks for the heads up. I guess I should go light on the face product tonight. Night, man.” 

“Night.” 

Lance went to his room, leaving Keith alone in the dark hall. Keith closed his eyes. Lance had looked so sad when he said he didn’t miss Earth. He stood in the dark and tried to imagine the desert, the dry heat, the way the moon looked when it rose over the horizon. He was confronted, instead, with images of his father. Of firemen knocking on his door to give him the news. Of a grave, of an empty house. There was nothing for Keith left on Earth. There hadn’t been since Shiro left for Kerberos. Keith opened his eyes and went into his room. 

He laid awake for hours, trying to drown out memories he’d collected from the other paladins, memories the Lions collected for them. He was good at mind melding in the moment- he knew how to keep people out of the parts of his head he didn’t want them in, knew how to focus on Voltron. It was harder for him to stop his teammates’ memories from rushing in. He felt Hunk’s fear the first time he’d entered the simulator at the Garrison. He saw Pidge when he was younger- when she was younger? He saw Adam’s face, from Shiro’s eyes, rose-tinted and everything. As he drifted off, he saw a beach, a sunset, felt a warmth so much wetter than that of his desert, heard the lapping of the ocean. He wondered what the other paladins had collected from his head. He wondered if that sunset was what Lance missed so much. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

Lance didn’t think it was a stretch to say that he’d been one of the best cadets at the Garrison. He was a gem in the classroom, he was a fighter class pilot, and he could kick some serious ass in hand to hand combat. Sure, he was teetering on failing a math class or two, and he always crashed the simulator, and Kincaid gave him a bloody nose on three separate occasions in the training ring- but he knew his worth. 

Things didn’t feel so clear cut as a paladin. 

When he’d first awoken Blue, he really thought this was it- this was his chance to prove how good of a pilot he was. He’d gotten them to the castle, and found Yellow with Hunk. He’d been a part of forming Voltron and stopping Sendak, if only briefly. 

But they hadn’t been able to do it since, and they were getting their asses handed to them in the training room. 

“They” was a bit of an exaggeration. Shiro seemed to be able to handle himself just fine, after getting used to his Galra arm. Keith wasn’t much worse off. The blade his bayard turned into suited him. When Lance watched him fight, it looked like the weapon was more of an extension of himself than anything else. 

Lance didn’t feel that with his bayard. 

He liked that he got a gun. Guns were cool. He could use it for long or short range combat, and it packed a bigger punch that his teammates weapons. He wasn’t good with it though. At the Garrison, he’d focused his time on piloting and hand to hand combat. He knew how to put a gun together, how to aim and fire, but it was by no means his specialty. 

He was starting to wonder if he had a specialty. 

“Lance, focus!” Shiro’s voice cut through his train of thought. 

Right, training. 

Lance snapped his attention back to the mock battle in the training room. They were fighting against that one robot again, level three. Hunk had been hit in Level Two (Keith’s fault- he didn’t move in time to block for Hunk). Lance was opposite Pidge, both of them taking long range shots at the dummy when Shiro and Keith would back off from it. Pidge managed to lasso its leg. He tugged it towards himself, but at the last moment it blasted at Shiro. Pidge, startled, yanked it towards himself a little too hard. It crashed into him, and Coran’s voice pierced over the rattle of robot limbs on floor, “Shiro, out! Pidge out, but he’s got you to level four! Good work paladins!”

Keith, crouched on the ground, shot a smile at Lance.

“Cover me,” He said, and sprang forward.

Lance watched through the crosshairs of his gun as Keith began to wail on the Gladiator. Keith was fast, but the thing parried his blows and put him on the defensive. The drone was hitting him hard. Lance could see the strain of Keith’s muscles through his suit, tense as he held his sword in front of him. His hair was wet with sweat and strands of it matted on his forehead. 

“Lance, take the shot!” Keith called out. 

Lance was caught off guard. His sight was wrong, focused on the swing of Keith’s sword rather than the training robot. He adjusted it, a second too late. 

“I missed it- give me another opening!” He shouted across the training deck. 

“Sure, no problem,” The sarcasm coming from Keith was palpable. In the same moment, Keith was struck across the shoulder. 

“Keith out!” Coran shouted. 

It was only seconds until the robot shot at Lance, ending the training simulation. Shiro reminded him about the importance of focus. He nodded along, inwardly cursing Keith. He was such a show off in his fighting style- it was distracting.

The group decided to disband for a few hours. They’d need to practice in their lions all afternoon, and Shiro wanted them to have a break. 

“We’re grabbing lunch, right? I’ve been poking around the kitchen and I think I can make something that tastes a little more like food and a little less like, uh, space goo,” Hunk asked, slinging an arm around Lance’s shoulder. 

“Oh, I am so down. I’m going to hang back and run another simulation first- I want to work on my aim. Meet you in an hour?” Lance offered. 

“Gives me plenty of time to cook. Pidge, you coming? Keith?” Hunk said. 

“Yup! Let me grab some of my notes to look through while you cook,” Pidge said. 

“I’m gonna keep training,” Keith said. Lance made a show of rolling his eyes. He wanted to stay behind to concentrate. It would be impossible to do that with Keith messing around with his flashy moves. 

“Cool, see you guys later. And please, take a shower before you come to lunch. You both smell awful,” Hunk said. 

Lance took a lap around the training room, cracking his knuckles. Keith was stretching, flexing his arms, bending down to touch his legs. It was irritating. Lance had intended to do some target practice, but all he was interested in now was going head to head with Keith. 

“Want to go one on one?” Lance asked. 

Keith looked up at him, thinking. After a few seconds he nodded, “Sure.” 

Keith came at him fast. Lance barely had time to duck out of the way before Keith was swinging a sword at him. Lance twisted around, blocked another blow with his bayard, and pushed hard into Keith. Lance stepped back a few paces to give himself space to use his gun. Keith was fast, though. It became clear to Lance that he didn’t stand a chance at actually getting a hit on Keith in a close combat fight. 

Changing tactics, Lance charged forward. His weapon might not be able to beat Keith’s one on one, but he was confident that he was strong enough to take him if they were both unarmed. Bayard cast aside, Lance feigned a punch at Keith’s head, sending his knee up at the last second to disarm his opponent. 

“Fuck,” Keith cursed. Lance smiled. 

Things devolved pretty quickly from a tactically-driven fight into a petty wrestling match. Lance was stronger and was able to tackle Keith easily. Keith was squirrely, and far more flexible than Lance had accounted for. Each time Lance would pin him down, the kid would worm his way out from underneath Lance’s body and jab a knee or an elbow somewhere truly painful. Keith’s skin was warm and slick with sweat. It was hard to get a firm hold on him. Lance would have him in a headlock, and Keith would slip away. Elusive bastard. A bloody nose ended the fight. It was Kincaid all over again, Lance thought, bringing his sleeve up to catch his blood from spilling on the ground. 

“You alright?” Keith asked, “I’ll grab a towel.” 

Lance thought about protesting, but there really was a lot of blood. Keith came back with a washcloth and batted Lance’s hands away from his face. He was gentle, one hand pinching the bridge of Lance’s nose to stop the flow. Lance’s stomach felt off.  
“I’ve got it,” Lance said, taking hold of the towel. Something about his own fingers on his face was less comforting. Keith was still close to him, dark eyes scanning the damage to his nose, “And thanks for breaking my nose, mullet.”

“It’s not broken.” 

“It’s a very delicate nose, Keith.” 

Keith’s eyes were still on him. His stomach really did feel awful. Keith stood up, offered him a hand. Lance gave him a quizzical look. 

“We should get showered off. Hunk’s not going to let you eat with blood all over you,” Keith said. 

“I’ll meet you in the cafeteria,” Lance said. Keith lowered his arm. 

“Fine. If you bleed to death alone in here, it’s not my fault.” 

Lance watched Keith exit the room. He checked his nose- the bleeding had stopped, and Keith was right. It wasn’t broken. Lance flopped onto his back, frustrated that Keith had gotten the better of him, again. He could smell himself now- Hunk had been right, it was awful. They really needed to find some space deodorant. Not wanting to run into Keith in the shower, he laid on the floor for a few extra minutes, thinking of punchlines to use over lunch about his nose. 

\---------------------------------------------

Keith had felt like a complete fucking idiot standing outside the castle with Allura. He’d been tricked by Sendak, duped to go “rescue” the Arusian village, and forced to just watch as Galra infiltrated their base. Allura, at least, had been able to guide Pidge on a stealth mission through the castle. Keith could do nothing but stand back, teeth bared, thinking about Lance’s unconscious body and how it was his plan that landed them all in this mess. 

He was so angry with himself he could hardly remember when the castle’s defenses came down, the long run to his teammates. He could definitely remember the hitch in his breath seeing Lance collapsed on the ground, looking less than half alive. The image of Pidge with a gun to her head would never leave him. 

But Lance had pulled through. The kid was a good shot. An incredible shot. He’d taken Sendak’s arm off and given Keith and Pidge the opportunity to take him down. 

Keith had been the first one to get to Lance. 

Now, hours later, his back resting against Lance’s healing pod, all Keith could think about was the way he and Lance had held hands, how Lance had told him they do make a good team, how Lance had passed out while Keith held him. Keith wasn’t unaccustomed to death. They were all getting used to the pounding adrenaline of a battle. It still fucked with him, seeing Lance like that. Holding death so close to him in his arms. 

Everyone was worried about Lance. He was the only one who waited up all night. 

\-----------------------------------------------

Keith was in the training room, again. He was there most of the time. There wasn’t much else to do in the castle, not if he wanted to avoid his fellow paladins. He’d gotten into the same pattern at the Garrison. There was a solid excuse for him today- now that Lance was out of his pod, they were already on route to rescue the Balmerans. Keith needed to be in peak condition if they were to face the Galra again. He clearly had not been prepared enough during their previous encounter with Sendak, and it had nearly cost Lance his life. 

Lance. Keith kicked a little harder at the simulator thinking about him. Keith had made an absolute obvious fool of himself over breakfast. We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms! 

Of course Lance didn’t remember. He’d lost consciousness as Keith held him. The crinkle of his eyes and the lilt of his smile hadn’t been what Keith had thought. It hadn’t been charged with the emotion Keith’s own smile had been entwined with. Keith was the only gay idiot who could actually feel romance in the aftermath of a crisis like that. 

And Keith really did think it was the crisis of it all that had him interested. He hadn’t given a shit about Lance when they’d both been at the Garrison. It took Lance butting in on his rescue of Shiro for Keith to notice how attractive he was. It was watching him activate the Blue Lion that made Keith’s stomach turn over for the first time. There were the smaller things, sure. The lift in his chest when he and Lance would poke fun at each other, his irritation at Lance’s determination to flirt with any and all women (but who wasn’t annoyed with that?), his subconscious’ insistence on situating himself next to Lance in every room, his utter glee when he’d been the one to rescue a tied-up Lance. 

But yesterday. Yesterday, seeing Lance so desperate to contribute to the fight he’d woken himself up from unconsciousness, was a different feeling altogether. He hadn’t felt the deep romantic pull until that moment. He hadn’t so clearly thought about holding Lance until he was doing it. It had to be because of Sendak and the emergency of it all. 

Keith drew his sword down on the Gladiator, effectively passing the simulation level, cursing his brain’s insistence on catching feelings for exactly the wrong people at the worst moments imaginable. He didn’t need another unrequited romance when he was trying to stop the end of the universe. 

“End simulation,” Keith said, putting his bayard away. 

He sat on the floor, head between his knees, and laughed. 

\------------------------------------------

“And so I’m standing there, and Coran and I have to go, like, immediately-” Hunk said. 

“So you told her you loved her?” Lance asked, eyebrows waggling. 

“What? No. Lance, I met her that day,” Hunk frowned. 

“You abandoned her on a Galra infested planet. You’d better have told her something good,” Pidge chimed in, not bothering to look up from his- her Lance corrected himself- computer. 

“See, Pidge gets it,” Lance gestured with his thumb. 

“Guys, you know what I told her. That’s our whole big next mission- rescue the Balmerans! Remember?” Hunk asked. 

“Technically Allura said we’re going to rescue the Balmera,” Pidge corrected. 

“Yeah, but, Shay is included in that. If you save the Balmera, you save the Balmerans,” Hunk said, arms crossed. 

Lance was reclining on the big circular sofa in the lounge, already dressed in his paladin gear. They’d gotten dressed for battle hours ago, bayards at the ready. They were very rapidly learning, however, that space travel was a lot less like the movies and a lot more like a long road trip. 

“Are we there yet?” Hunk asked. 

Lance laughed, the cliche of Hunk’s sentiment not lost on him. 

“Not yet, but it shouldn’t be much longer now. Maybe we should head to the bridge,” Pidge suggested. 

Lance stood and stretched, leading the way. The three of them trailed in together, Hunk with a more serious face than his friends. Shiro gave them a nod as they walked in, and then quirked up an eyebrow. 

“Keith isn’t with you?” He asked. 

“Nope,” Hunk responded. 

“I can set off the alarms! It’ll get him here in a tick!” Coran offered. The rest of the team scrunched up their faces. 

“He’s probably just on the training deck, showing off again,” Lance rolled his eyes. 

“You’re right, Lance. Go grab him for us- we need to head to our Lions soon,” Shiro ordered. 

“Me?!” Lance questioned. The team ignored him. He made a dramatic scene of sighing before trudging down to the training deck. 

Keith was sat on the floor laughing when he walked in, training simulation inactive. 

“So are you like, going space crazy, or do you usually laugh alone in a room?” Lance said. 

Keith looked up at him through his hair, cheeks flushed. He swallowed hard, fighting back his grin until he was as stone-faced as Lance had ever seen him. 

“They need us on the bridge?” Keith asked. 

“Unless you’re trying to give up your seat in the Red Lion,” Lance said, crossing the room towards Keith. 

“You really up to fighting after coming out of that… pod?” Keith asked. He extended his hand, gesturing for Lance to help him up off the floor. 

“I was totally expecting a hangover or something from being in that thing, but I feel great. And I think it got rid of my space allergies!” Lance answered, reaching down and pulling Keith to standing. 

“Space allergies?” He asked. 

“Uh, yeah? Allergies. From space. Space allergies?” 

Keith widened his eyes and tilted his head to the side. He walked past Lance towards the door. Lance followed after him. 

“Hunk tells me you stayed with me all night,” Lance said. 

Keith, again, said nothing. Lance shoved his hands in his pockets, pouting. 

He was out of his mind embarrassed about the way that fight had gone down. He’d been shot thirty goddamn seconds into a battle. Hell yeah he’d managed to pull through in the end- the team would have failed without him. And damn, was he a good shot. A little more practice and they’d be calling him the team sharpshooter. 

It still hadn’t felt great to be so in and out of consciousness that Keith had had to carry him. 

If he was being honest, though, he was glad it was Keith. Cute as she was, it would have been mortifying for Allura to be the one helping him, taking care of him. Pidge felt like his little sister. He certainly did not want his little sister carrying him anywhere. And Shiro- Shiro was his hero. No one wants to have to be rescued by their hero. But Keith was just Keith. His equal, his teammate. If he had to be cradled in someone’s arms, Keith wasn’t the worst choice. 

“So, you ever hear anything from your girlfriend?” Keith asked, jarring Lance out of his thoughts. 

“My who?” 

“Your girlfriend. Tall. Alien. Weird head. Stole your Lion. Left you handcuffed to a tree,” Keith’s tone was deadpan but his eyes were playful. 

Lance was not glad that Keith had been the one to help him out of that predicament. He blushed. 

“Shut up.” 

“Alright, alright, I’ll quit joking around. I’ve been wondering though, what’s your safeword?” 

“Shut up!” 

“Do you always make the girl tie you up or does she sometimes get a turn?” 

“Keith!” 

“Seriously though, how’d she get you into them? Did you think she was going to-”

“NO! You never joke around, Kogane! You’re Mr. Serious! This is not the thing you start making jokes about!” 

“Okay, but-” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Keith knew he was forming a bad habit. Sleep had never been something that came easy to him- not unless he’d been in a fight. An adrenaline crash always put him out. Still, this was getting a bit excessive. This was the fourth night in a row he’d found himself wandering around the corridors well past midnight. He couldn’t quiet his mind enough to lay down. 

He found himself standing in front of the memory chamber. He hadn’t walked here on purpose, but the place had been in his thoughts. The castle turning on them had freaked them all out. He was having some trouble trusting it again, even knowing that Allura had taken care of the source of it. He’d been having something in between dreams and nightmares, just Lance’s face from the opposite side of the airlock. Wide eyes. Screaming. He’d seen Lance inches away from death too many times over the past few months. 

Keith pressed the button to open the door to the memory chamber. It was essentially useless, now, with Alfor’s memory erased. Keith froze when he walked in. He hadn’t been expecting to see anyone else. Coran was sat in the center of the room- he’d been talking to himself, cut himself off mid-sentence when he noticed Keith. 

“Coran- What’s going on?” Keith asked. Coran was, very obviously, not okay. His eyes were red and puffy, like he’d been crying for a long time.

“Keith! You’re up late. Don’t worry about me, just hanging out here, in the memory chamber,” Coran said. 

Keith could tell he was trying to put on his normal face, but the smile wasn’t quite right. Keith sighed and walked further into the room, sitting down cross-legged next to Coran. 

“You used to come here to talk to him?” Keith asked. 

It had only been a few nights since the castle had turned on them, since Allura had been forced to make the choice to erase all of her father’s memories. Everyone knew it was hitting her hard. Losing your dad was hard. Keith knew, first hand. The whole team knew Coran must be feeling something too. He’d worked beside Alfor for decades. He had been doing a better job of putting on a brave face, especially in front of Allura, but they all knew it must be eating at him. Even Lance had commented on it to Keith this morning, “Coran hasn’t made a joke all breakfast, you think he’s okay?” 

Coran laughed in response to Keith, “No. You know, he and I downloaded his memory into the Castle together. He wanted us to have his knowledge.” 

“He didn’t think you would use it to talk to him?” Keith asked. 

“I think he wanted Allura to have a chance to say goodbye. But I was able to do that in person,” Coran explained. 

“You two knew each other a long time,” Keith said. 

“He was my best friend. Sometimes you and Shiro remind me of us, when we were young- I looked up to him so much. I spent my whole life by his side, trying to be what he needed,” Coran frowned. 

Keith nodded.

Coran continued, “I always thought things could have been different between us if he hadn’t been King.”

Keith stayed silent, waited for Coran to continue. 

“When his father named him Crown Prince, he asked me if I wanted to run away with him. He talked himself down, of course. For the best.”

Keith put a hand on Coran’s shoulder. Keith wasn’t sure what Alfor had been to Coran, but it was obviously more than just a king. More than a friend. 

“Back on Earth, when they told me Shiro was dead, I was a wreck. But you’re the one who keeps us all together. I don’t know how you do it,” Keith said. 

“Sometimes it startles me, to see you coming out of the Red Lion instead of him,” Coran admitted. 

“I’ll try to do right by her,” Keith said. 

“Between you and me, I think you’ve got more skill with her than Alfor ever did. You really get her,” Coran smiles. 

“Tell that to Allura,” Keith laughed. 

“She’s intense, that one. Raised her myself! With her parents, of course.” 

“She’s going to make a great Queen.” 

“Only if we defeat Zarkon. Speaking of which! You have to get to bed, Red Paladin. Big business in the morning!” 

“Right,” Keith picked himself up off the floor. He was halfway out the door when he turned to say, “I’d like to know more about him, if you ever want to talk about it.” 

Keith didn’t wait for an answer before he walked down the hall. 

In the morning, Lance, skin clear and dewy, poked fun at the bags under his eyes. Keith didn’t fight back, attention focused on Coran’s pep talk. As the paladins dispersed to suit up, he caught a glimpse of Shiro. He thought about Coran and Alfor, and felt an immediate sense of relief that Shiro had never returned his feelings. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Keith was wracked with anxiety. This wasn’t normal. He didn’t feel before fights- he just went into them, felt bad about it later. Guilt he could handle. But this anxiety was clouding his vision and there wasn’t time for it. Allura was missing, captured. Their princess was in enemy hands and Keith couldn’t focus on battle plans or Shiro’s voice or the clear space in his mind he’d need to be in to form Voltron. 

Instead it was this warm knot in his stomach paired with an image of the blood he’d had to wash off of his hands when Lance had been shot by Sendak. It was Lance’s eyes as the consciousness faded out of them in Keith’s arms. It was his scream as the airlock opened, the desperation in voice as he waited for Keith to save him. 

Keith needed to do something to get the images of Lance on death’s door out of his head, especially before the whole team had to mind meld. On their way down to their Lion’s hangars, Keith grabbed Lance by the wrist. 

“Keith, what are you doing? We have to go! Allura doesn’t have time for this!” Lance said, impatient. 

“Listen to me,” Keith said. 

Lance made as if to protest, eyes rolling. He surveyed Keith, the trembling hands and wide eyes, and his demeanor shifted to something softer as he said, “What’s up Keith?” 

“I know Allura is important to you,” Keith didn’t know where he was going with this. 

“Yeah. She’s the princess. She’s important to all of us? And the universe, I think.” Lance said, squinting his eyes. 

“Yeah, but I know she- you have- I know you really want to save her, okay? But you can’t do anything reckless,” Keith said. 

Lance snorted, “You’ve got to know how ridiculous that sounds coming from you.”  
“You need to make sure you don’t die.” 

The smile fell from Lance’s face immediately, “I’m not planning on dying, man. Why am I the only one getting this little pep talk?” 

Keith gritted his teeth. In his head he saw Lance in the airlock again, face contorted in terror. He did his best to hide his fear, “This is a huge battle. We have the opportunity to take out Zarkon. We could end all this. I don’t have time to swoop in and save you.” 

“Then don’t expect me to back you up on whatever dumb move you try to pull, either!” Lance huffed, crossing his arms. 

Keith’s plan was backfiring. He had maybe seven seconds to navigate things back on track before they had to get in their Lions. 

“I don’t want you to end up in a healing pod again. Or worse,” Keith said. 

Lance’s frown deepened, “I don’t want to see you there, either.” 

“Okay.” 

“Uh- okay.” 

Keith’s arm had reached out before he became consciously aware of its movement. The sudden physical contact between his hand and Lance’s bicep wasn’t doing anything to calm his nerves.

“Good luck,” Keith said. The awkwardness of the situation was palpable. 

Lance, smooth as ever, broke out his trademarked grin, “We don’t need luck, we’re Voltron.” 

Keith’s stomach bottomed out. He forced images of Zarkon into his mind, and headed towards his Lion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I'm posting a non-homestuck fic and I'm very anxious about it! I'm hoping y'all enjoy. I expect to be updating pretty slowly- I'll be posting a season at a time for the first few chapters (probably), and have another WIP I'm trying to prioritize. But! I will definitely finish this.


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